On Cruel and Unusual Torture

Why would anyone in their right mind do vault? Why is it even an event? My theory is that they didn't want everyone to do gymnastics, so they put it in as a deterrent, figuring about half of those interested in gymnastics would not join because it would involve running 15 miles per hour at a stationary object.

Really, whoever invented the I'll-run-bounce-off-a-springboard-then-attempt-to-fly-which-anybody-with-a-little-sense-in-their-head-knows-won't-work was a genius. They sure have got crowd control mastered.

But then us few insane wackos who do it anyway are probably legally able to prosecute our coaches for cruel and unusual punishment. Doing it once I guess I could understand, kind of like, Oh, I'll smoke marijuana once just to see what it's like, or, You know, I really don't feel that my life will be complete until I've jumped off a moving train, so hey, why not? But being forced to do it again and again, that has got to be unconstitutional!